Maybe you're tired of striving to become enlightened, to either find “the right way” to do life, or otherwise rise above this earthly journey in which we’ve chosen to participate.
I’ve spent most of my life seeking and becoming a bit wiser in the process, but the amount of effort hasn’t been equal to the result. Recently I had an experience that made things very clear to me, in ways I wasn’t even seeking to understand. When something happens in this way, there’s no going back, and no ignoring what’s been realised. It's given me a new capacity to support and guide the journey of inner transformation, pointing you towards the depths of your own wise and creative being.
I woke up one morning and I was aware that all the mental chatter and thoughts had disappeared from my mind. There was nothing going on inside my head, which was something I’ve never experienced in my life.
It was a wee bit scary…. I wondered if I’d suffered a mini-stroke but on some level I felt lighter and freer in a very new way. Some part of me wanted to shout and sing and tell the world that I was free of thinking!
I carried on with my day – making coffee, having breakfast, feeding the dogs... with all these activities coming from a different place inside of me. Not the place that plans to do these things, but the present moment place of being, where doing curiously arises in the moment.
It was fascinating to experience what presence truly means. I've never really known the experience, although I've talked about it lots.
So, as part of me celebrated this overwhelming new awareness and felt light and free, there was another part feeling as though the rug had been pulled from under my life. All the things I had thought were important or true - especially models of consciousness and tools for healing and personal growth - had suddenly become irrelevant.
For someone who’s lived in my head and whose work for the last 28 years depended on a toolbox of acquired knowledge, this was a frightening place to be. It was also hugely relieving to stop trying to hold all this information and to simply surrender to this moment. Tears flowed from the depth of my being as I experienced total release from needing to work anything out or pay any attention to my thinking.
The challenge was the integration of this new understanding into my current life. As the days passed and the experience didn’t disappear I began to feel more grounded in it and to know that life continued to function, albeit with none of the effort or need to control, that I previously believed it required. I continued to live from this place of contentment for about 3 weeks and then life’s events tipped me back into an old feeling of fear from my childhood.
You might be thinking “Oh well, it didn’t last, so it wasn’t really that amazing….” In fact, if it had continued to last I’d have nothing much to say beyond this story.
Because I was tipped back into an old pattern, I've become acutely aware of the impact of my thinking and the amount of unnecessary energy I've expended trying to control events.
I now know there is a place of innate wellbeing, deep wisdom and joyful ease, that's available to me whenever I allow myself to relax into it. I also know that it's exactly the same for everyone.
Diploma of Herbalism and Naturopathic Nutrition
Diploma of Vibrational Medicine
Diploma of Energetic Cellular Healing
Systemic Constellations & 5 Realms