I’m now home from India and gathering the wisdom of the journey, as I consciously watch my body/mind respond to what’s familiar and known to me.
The journey of Ayurvedic treatment had been initially an uncomfortable one for me.
The holiday had been described by my friend as daily yoga and massage, sunshine, swimming in the sea and lovely vegetarian food. At the halfway mark I realised that the unexpected depth of the other treatments and accompanying emotions that arose as a result, were actually getting in the way of me enjoying the massage, doing yoga, swimming or enjoying food.
Since struggle is what I was raised to expect and wallow in, I chose to take my power back and started to use my own herbal medicine alongside the Ayurvedic prescriptions.
While doing this I was consciously questioning whether I so badly needed to be in control, was unable to fully surrender, if my belief in my own medicine was getting in the way of the treatment, or if I felt afraid of what was happening to my body.
Whatever the reason, my small bottle of liquid slippery elm bark brought peace to the cells of my gut, and I was able to participate in the holiday more fully.
Yesterday as I relayed this story to a friend, I recognised that actually it was nothing to do with fear or control…. I was simply letting go of my family pattern and choosing joy over struggle.
I had a week of my holiday left. I felt that the buried emotions and physical symptoms had shown themselves clearly and I wanted to move out of this so I could enjoy the massage, go to yoga, swim in the sea, be a more pleasant holiday companion and get back to loving food!
My original intent had not been to take a holiday, not in order to do a deep physical detox but to relax in the warmth and sunshine with one of my favourite people.
It’s a repeating pattern for me that physical symptoms are usually due to emotional causes. Once the suppressed emotions are identified, my vibration changes and there is a new flow of information that normalises things at a physical level. I have very rarely solved physical issues by deep detoxing – although I do this when it feels necessary to take my body into an alkaline state and invoke clarity on my path, so I’m not averse to it.
Different times and causes (emotional, physical, spiritual, dimensional, past life etc.), call for different solutions. I decided to trust my own gut about what was right for me now and to enjoy the last week of my holiday. I have no regrets.
As for the challenge to my naturopathic wisdom, what I observed is that whatever the modality, and the methods, all natural healing regimes are attempting to right the messages that have gone wrong between the cells and bring balance back into the body at physical and energetic levels.
In true wisdom traditions, like Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda and Naturopathic Medicine this also includes reconnecting the person with nature and the elements and recognising their unique place in the universe. The intent is always the same, and the methods vary according to what is available locally (herbs, oils, foods) and what has been passed down through the generations of healers. There’s a lot more to be said about this, but not for now.
What I saw clearly is that my childhood coping skills have been so deeply embedded in me, that sometimes it requires me to go way beyond my beliefs and my comfort zone in order to connect to the current emotional pain and recognise it clearly. Once seen and felt, there is much more room for joy!
Although it’s not been my path, I believe that when we ignore our emotions and disease takes over, the body is asking us to go on a journey to re-establish balance and vitality.
Serious illness will often require a complete lifestyle change or a personality makeover in those who heal and grow through the experience.
When people fully engage with that journey it usually takes them to many different models, possible solutions, often a particular practitioner, or a series of countries and healing modalities. It’s not the methods that heal them, it’s the journey and the inner wisdom gathered on the way. It’s what they learn about themselves in the layers that are uncovered by the challenge of choosing life.
Life is simply a long vision quest – an initiation - and everything that comes towards us is there to help us. The body is always adjusting to create balance and flow. When challenges arise on that journey, I find it helpful to ask these questions:
“What’s right about this that I’m not getting?”
“What’s right about me that I’m not getting?”
And then let go and allow the universe to drop the insights into the empty space I’ve created in my mind.
Choosing to do what feels right or fun or joyful in the next moment.
May your 2018 be filled with conscious magic.