I had a very sleepless night last night with my body running adrenaline at top speed for no real reason. I'd gone to bed early but then woke around midnight and couldn't sleep again until 4am. The feeling of adrenaline racing inside activates a considerable level of fear in me as it makes my heart race and thump. In my sleeplessness my mind went down a familiar path - one that feels like it's asking me to make big changes and yet not having any clarity about what those changes might be.
Eventually I slept for a few hours and then later when I was out walking the dogs I found myself with an image in my head of myself running backwards and forwards on a bridge. The energy was a feeling of being stuck on the bridge and not knowing which end to exit the bridge. The information that came to me was that one end of the bridge was the old paradigm and the other is the new paradigm. When I looked more closely towards the new paradigm end, I saw that the bridge was actually incomplete, so it's no wonder I am feeling unable to step from the bridge onto the new territory of the Aquarian age.
With this understanding I saw myself standing still on the bridge facing the new paradigm and puzzling about this gap between the bridge and the land, Then I felt energies moving in from behind me, from right and left, and whooshing alongside my body gently. The energies felt like they were unexpected, yet timely... and definitely unknown to me. They seemed to gently move me forward on the bridge. As they passed by, they felt supportive and graceful and then as they went on ahead of me, I could see that they were actually weaving the rest of the bridge so it became more and more possible to see a way I would eventually be able to leave the bridge and step into the new.
This picture quietened something inside of me and I remained very still in the centre of the bridge. I was aware of the two options and I was also aware that none of it was in my control. It felt clear that there is nothing I can do to make anything happen faster and that only grace (and possibly my desire for the new and the purity of my intent) will move things forward and create the new path ahead. Something in me relaxed very deeply and let go of trying to work things out.
After my walk, as I began my first client session, the person described her feelings as "heavy, exhausted, unable to find joy" I was struck by the number of people in the last two weeks who have described themselves to me in exactly the same way. Not just the same ideas... but using the exact words in this precise order. This has made me aware that it's probably a collective issue we are transmuting. We will all have our own varying degrees of resonance with this energy but I believe there are some definite things that these feelings of heaviness and exhaustion relate to:
The first is that we're all in a process of recalibration. The speed at which the energies and vibrations are up-levelling means that our physical bodies will sometimes struggle to keep up. At the cellular level we may be needing to rest a lot more due to the changing energy around us but also due to the detoxifying effect of emotional cleansing which is occurring unexpectedly as we recalibrate. Some people are reporting surprising memories arising, crying episodes for no obvious reason, and times of dark despair followed by a sense of lightness for a few days. A bit of a roller coaster in which we feel we don't quite recognise ourselves?
When we experience an emotional release, we also release toxins from our cellular level, as trauma is held in the connective tissue of the body. Drinking plenty of water really helps the body to detox more quickly as the connective tissue is 80% water. Make sure you're drinking enough during these times of vibrational change.
The second thing is about intuition and timing. My client also described the issue of feeling that a big change is necessary but not having any sense of what that change is... Exactly the words I was living through myself. For those of us who are sensitives, way-showers or forerunners of the new, we will have a strong sense of where we need to head, but then it might seem as if our inner sense is not matching the outer environment and we might begin to think we have got it wrong. I've had many occurrences in the past where I sensed something ahead of me that may have taken six months to two years to actually manifest. I realised that I wasn't getting anything "wrong" I was just not aware of the exact timing or the full circumstances so I often felt very excited because I assumed things were going to happen very quickly and then they didn't. I'm sure you'll have had these experiences yourself? You're not getting it wrong, you're actually ahead of the game!
The third thing is that from the vision I was shown of the bridge leading to the new paradigm it's not far off being fully finished! Yay :-) .... and what's important is that we keep looking in the direction of the new and not looking back into old paradigm ways of thinking and perceiving life. I had the sense in the vision that our only responsibility is to be still within the chaos, so that Grace can move through and around us in unexpected ways and in divine timing. Sometimes this place of "limbo" can feel heavy and exhausting.
The last thing is an awareness that we need to REALLY practice our present-moment awareness and not just talk about it as a concept. I sensed that in the new paradigm there will only be the present moment, so the sooner we acclimatise ourselves to that, the more easily it will arrive as our world. Hence the old stories need to be released from our cells now.
If you're with me on this bridge and you've been feeling as though you're stuck or anxiously trying to find a way to make that shift happen.... let that idea drift away because the only way we can support this change is through an open heart, a pure intent and a longing for humanity to shift as one.
As Max Erhmann said in the Desiderata: "The Universe is unfolding as it should" and it's taking us along for the ride as long as we stay resonant and aware, and allow Grace to move us in heartfelt (not necessarily logical) ways.