I hear these words quite a lot from clients in my practice and it seems to me that this recent global challenge is offering us a chance to reflect more acutely on why we can't generally speak to each other, and even those closest to us, from a place of authenticity and trust.
I've been giving a lot of thought to self-love, human connection, safety, emotional wounding, childhood experiences, ego structures, and the current opportunity for making evolutionary leaps on the human journey.
I've realised that the sentence in the title is quite key to all of these things.
It's entirely possible that for humanity to make a giant leap,
the real challenge for us all is to surrender our personal self
to another member of the adult human species... to surrender the fear
and allow ourselves to love and be loved.
We have the chance to fully embody love.
If there were more spaces in which we felt safe to bring our vulnerable selves and our spiritual selves, I imagine we might go forward in leaps and bounds towards this embodiment. Integrity and kindness would be the new currency. Conversations would take on new meaning in which others would offer a trustworthy expansive space to bring our heartfelt innocence.
It's these subjects that include vulnerability and spiritual ideas, that most people feel unable to speak about with "just anyone". They aren't able to trust that they won't be judged for their "weakness" or shadow issues, slated in their shame, or ridiculed for their ungrounded ideas and spiritual concepts.
It seems to me that these times we are living through have brought us many opportunities.... some conscious and others less conscious. The obvious ones are about looking at new ways to work, noticing (and hopefully questioning) the authority we give to government in matters of our own health, and being forced to stay with ourselves to a greater degree - sometimes alone, or maybe in less than happy relationships which we can't ignore now that we're faced with being together 24/7. We're also seeing inequality and double standards with more clarity and ownership, and more people are committing to support social change.
The less conscious part is about noticing our humanness in all of this. Noticing what makes us afraid, what the prospect of illness and death brings up in us, how we can survive financially in a changed world, what does extinction mean for us as a species, how will climate change affect our water and food supplies? Not to mention the less visible environmental challenge of 5G and electromagnetic frequencies as a whole.
Apart from these existential survival fears, there might also be the recognition that we're quietly assessing who we feel truly connected to, and supported by, during challenging times.
Do we have an inner sense of resilience that shows up naturally when challenges arise or does fear disempower us and mask our own wisdom and intelligence? Do we protect ourselves from others or open towards a different level of connection?
Are we comfortable with admitting how much we all need each other?
Are we honest enough to admit that we want "the others" to see things the way we see them? We either want them to be vaccinated, or not... we want them to trust the government ... or not, we want them to wear masks... or not. And in our thoughts it all seems hugely important what others are doing, if we are to feel safe and secure.
What's potentially more exciting to me is to look underneath these many fears and focus on our inner world rather than the outer world.
To uncover what we really rely on when survival is threatened. Do we have Basic Trust?
Basic Trust says that there is a divine order to everything and that the universe is benevolent. It means that what's happening is the best that can happen in the moment, given the present circumstances of the human condition. And that whatever is happening is taking us somewhere better, less fearful, more filled with love and light. And before you say it... this isn't magical thinking... or having your head in the clouds.
To discover what blocks this level of trust we need to look more directly at the beliefs that formed in childhood due to uncomfortable experiences. We need to recognise that quite often we're still living as if these ideas are the truth... and hopefully we can appreciate that we don't need to be, and are free to align with the higher principles of harmony and love.
When we do this we invite the possibility of uncovering our deeper selves, our undefended selves and embodying a whole new (and potentially more subtly powerful) identity... our pure and embodied soul.
If more and more people are able to connect with and embody their essence we have a chance of creating a whole new world. Rather than business as usual, we have the opportunity to unlock creativity and unleash our true heartfelt power. This can only happen moment by moment, one conscious conversation at a time.
It requires slowing down, reflecting, listening and holding the other in safety while knowing their highest qualities are always present.
Generally when we think of clearing childhood trauma and beliefs we think of psychotherapy or Somatic Experiencing but in my experience and worldview I truly believe that it's the ability to meet each other in a safe, non-judgemental, heart-focused conversation that enables us to remove the lens of our habitual perceptions and see ourselves and others as we really are. To see that we are all unique, and all the same.
The current change in vibration as the world moves towards an understanding that there is only love, is prompting us to look at ourselves and each other through a very different lens. I believe we need to do more of this, with, and for each other, in safely held spaces whilst acknowledging that some levels of trauma require the support of a professional.
For those who have already looked deeply into their past wounding and conditioning, meeting each other in this conscious way brings the gift of further healing, and a tenderness that could move humanity in the direction of being able to care genuinely for each other and for the planet.
We stand together in a moment of conscious evolution and maybe our next step is quite simple and very close to home.
Maybe all we need to do is to speak to each other gently about what is in our hearts and listen without judgement and with all our senses, allowing deeper wisdom and knowing to emerge from the field of possibility, going beyond old stories and beliefs.
The energies available to us now are supporting us in making these choices.
Look out for a newsletter soon outlining the chance to participate in a regular shared online space where you and your real authentic life are safe and welcome.
"When we come to the end of all of the light we know and must step
into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that we will find
something firm to stand on or that we will be taught to fly."
Photo above of original artwork by Dawn Cawthra
FLY in the painting stands for First Love Yourself